Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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