The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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