Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
operation have a gay friend backfired
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
