If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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