Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
