You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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