Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
