we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
