how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
