I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There's always time for handjobs
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
