So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
