I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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