I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
