Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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