Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
