i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
