also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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