paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
