dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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