Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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