I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
