the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
