so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
whose parrot is this?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
