a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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