I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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