You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
