Tell her she can't have a vagina
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
