accomplished twins. life is a go
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bring money and cleavage
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
