Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
