im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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