i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
