reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
is wine microwaveable?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
