Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
