I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
