so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
