Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
