I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?