Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

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(804): View more from Virginia

We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night

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(404): View more from Georgia

All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....

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(813): View more from Florida

This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)

(863): View more from Florida

New phone new life!

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(408): View more from California

Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.

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