chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day