Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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