I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
