so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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