Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
my liver is dry heaving
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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