do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
