My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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