We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
