Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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