I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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