dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I forget how to act sober
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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