Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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