After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
