You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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