we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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