Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
