P.S. I can't hear my feet
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
