So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
