that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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