alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
