Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
