YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
