Do vagina's smell?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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