no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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