she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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