I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
