Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
