We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
